Funds to Help Reduce/Eliminate Unhealthy Opioid Use

It angers me that people can be so dismissive of themselves. The April 24th local newspaper ran an article that points out that Laramie County received $1.3 million in opioid settlement funds in 2023; and yet, none of it has been spent due to fear of not spending it correctly and having to later on pay it back, according to one of the county commissioners. However, the article states that: "The OneWyo Opioid Settlement Memorandum of Agreement lists more than 70 ways the money can be spent, including expanding the availability of treatment for opioid use disorder, training and scholarships for health care providers combating the crisis, and public education campaigns."

Twice as many residents died from overdoses in 2023 than in 2017, according to Wyoming’s Vital Statistics Services. That was 120 deaths (10 deaths each month), of which 81 were from opioids, and 52 of those (one every week) were linked to fentanyl. Drug use/addiction is a hard beast to fight, and standing still is allowing it to fester even more.

I have heard that there used to be at least one Roberts House in Cheyenne. The Laramie County jail is trying to meet the needs of inmates with mental health issues by providing a section for extra attention to help them when they are released. Mental health and drug use/abuse often are connected, and there needs to be more recovery houses for people transitioning back into self-sufficiency while gaining the tools needed to live as law-abiding, clean and sober residents.

My suggestion is to reach out to surrounding areas that have successful Roberts Houses, and encourage them to increase their influence and success by establishing and running some Roberts Houses here in Cheyenne.

Our communities owe it to themselves and surrounding communities to push the use of opioids, both pure and synthetic, away. And we need to help law enforcement confiscate them and/or collect them from folks voluntarily turning them over so they can be safely and effectively disposed. Our county and other counties' commissioners are asking for public input with ideas on how to best utilize the funds sitting stagnant while awaiting being put to good use. Please, please, please contact your representatives with any ideas you have.

Copyright © April 24, 2024, by Maeke Ermarth

Cheyenne, WY

Victim No More

I am SO tired of the "victim" mentality Americans have embraced for the past few generations. Luckily, my dad was a realist, and it was pretty hard not feeling like a victim under his tutelage. After 20 years of listening A LOT to addicts of all different types, I am forever convinced of my attitude towards addictions & attractions: "To thine own self be true." What do you want for yourself ... the results of how you become when using or indulging or being irresponsible in any way, shape or form? Your mind, body and soul are like your own little trinity -- 3-in-1. Don't be half-assed & take care of only one part of you. Protect and care for all three of you.

If keeping a score card helps, use it. If establishing your own code of behavior and then experience life on your terms without a calendar or clock, use it. That is my preference because it helps me make my way of living a habit and done more automatically with each passing second.

Is it forever? Yes, if I want good consequences. In American society, if I want to be a "good" spouse, I will be loyal and trustworthy. Are there outside distractions and temptations? Daily. Why not "give in," then? Because I have established a self-imposed code that, to me, provides me a better quality of life. Is it always enjoyable? Hell no. But is it worth it in the big picture for my little trinity? Absolutely -- and I will not let myself down, for any reason, and I need make no excuses nor apologies for it. While maturing, God has taught me to be, and supported me in being, my own best friend and remedy. There's no free-er feeling than that, for me. 

Copyright © February 10, 2024, by Maeke Ermarth
                           Cheyenne, WY

Will 2024 be the year when governors pull together and send some of their state's national guard troops to the US/Mexico border to forcibly prohibit ILLEGAL immigration from ANY and ALL countries into America? There have been too many assaults on and threats against our country for those sworn to protect the USA against enemies (which is what illegal immigrants are) crossing our borders to allow their continuation. It seems to me "Stand Your Ground" laws should (and probably already can) be exercised not only on our southern border but on any of our other borders, too.

As for American residents wanting to lend help to others who are not living in America legally -- let them to do so, at their own cost, in the countries from where the supposed needy are coming. We have too many legally-here human leeches inside our border and are not equipped, nor obligated, to take in more.

Copyright © January 4, 2024, by Maeke Ermarth
                           Cheyenne, WY

 

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When Sympathy Destroys

President Trump did A LOT to protect US residents (citizens and otherwise) from a pandemic through various inputs of advice from which he had to choose options. He did a damned good job of it, given all the confusions and unknowns -- and a huge help was making illegal immigration more difficult. Now we have a president who supports keeping US residents "hostage" and constrained while letting thousands upon thousands of illegals committing criminal acts bombard our country with all the "proven" evidence of the medical/physical contaminants they are bringing along with them.

 Meanwhile, I am witnessing my own family member who for over two years now has been going through the "legal" process of bringing an educated, hard-working Cuban lady and her two elementary-school-aged twins to this country.  Sometimes black and white has no room for grey. Any respectable person with adequate brain cells knows that in order to do good, we have to first be strong and competent ourselves -- otherwise we all sink or, at the least, all stay just surviving but certainly not thriving.

 I suggest leaving sympathy at the door until we can AFFORD to be sympathetic for a more win-win situation. And that time comes as we have seen time and again throughout the USA's short history. We've done more for other nations than all the nations in history with their long time in existence. And we have not attained that ability to provide for ourselves AND others by denying ourselves first.

Copyright © April 13, 2021, by Maeke Ermarth

              Cheyenne, WY

 

 

Disgust and Applause

 

US citizens try to hold their representatives to a higher standard, as well we should; and President Biden & his administration should be no exception. Several times during Trump's time in office, I wrote his office about my disgust of his demeaning comments and tweets.  But I also applauded his political (locally and worldwide) accomplishments.

 I applaud President Biden's general demeanor but am disgusted and dismayed at his political (locally and worldwide) actions. The only thing I can say about this is that he is remaining consistent with how he has been for the past near-half-century. At least, then, I am not surprised and have already been mentally prepared for fiascos thanks to him and his. But for many other people and many "new" victims ... I don't even want to imagine.

 Copyright © March 2021 by Maeke Ermarth

                    Cheyenne, WY

 

Personal Political Responsibility

 I am not going to whine, I cannot say who is right or wrong because most people think they and like-minded others are right and everyone else is wrong; but what I can do is support our country having a transparent and legal process. So why doesn't everyone stop bickering and trying to prove they are right? Practices should be questioned and re-examined. Even though I have despised some outcomes of the past for all positions on The Hill, I am an American first (in citizenry) and try to support our ways and find comfort that when dissatisfied, we are still free and able to challenge and make changes. But when the final outcome is decided, it is my responsibility to accept whoever is in any office as far as acknowledging them as my president, senators, and representatives. On my own, I have a personal responsibility to stay sufficiently tuned in, do what I am willing to do within the legal options we have available to us to encourage or discourage an issue, and hold myself to a standard higher than being a mouthy finger-pointer.

For whatever "truth" someone wants to flaunt, there is plenty of seemingly credible information to support it or tear it down. The strongest truth is what we observe and interpret for ourselves, just like the Edith Ann comedy routines Lilly Tomlin did. In Googling, this series of Edith Ann statements on an old record popped up. I loved listening to the whole thing; but especially pertinent to politics (all throughout history) is what she says at the 9-minute mark:  “Lady, I do not make up things.  That is lies.  Lies is not true.  But the truth can be made up, if you know how.  And that’s the truth.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIooSBneL9Y

 Copyright © November 2020 by Maeke Ermarth

                                Cheyenne, WY

 

PTS – Disorder or Condition?

I am questioning the "D" in PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) -- is it really a "disorder?"  Sometimes I hear it referred to in a radio commercial simply as PTS, without the "D" attached, which is what got me thinking about this.

It seems to me the mind and body are doing what they should do as a defense mechanism by responding immediately to sounds, smells, or activities associated with something -- or someone – that a person views as a threat or is disturbing to witness.  Being nervous or anxious and other symptoms of PTS is in response to being protectively "on guard."

I wonder, then, if we are mis-using the word "disorder" for PTSD, which has a negative connotation.  For sure, it is going into an extreme mode.  But to me, it seems more like a "condition" needing to be tempered versus a "disorder" that needs to be reversed or stopped.

Copyright © March 2019 by  Maeke Ermarth

               Cheyenne, WY

Why Build the Border Wall?

One great thing about American freedom is the freedom of the people to make changes to meet continually changing circumstances.  Build the wall.  If after a decade or so it has proven ineffective, install gates and utilize it in other ways.  The wall will not be a useless endeavor.  If Speaker Pelosi, et. al, do not find the time extension for DACA people adequate, extending it beyond three years  or even doing away with it can be voted upon after ensuring the extension is already in place for the next three years.  This is a huge opportunity.  Accepting President Trump’s offer as of January 23^rd should be accepted now, allowing the government to fully run again and eliminating some the worries of residents already living in the US.

Taking on more than we can chew to the point everyone loses quality and perhaps even access to or availability of the very things that improve or maintain quality of life is dangerous.  We are not doing favors by exceeding the yearly limit of immigrants already established as healthy and maintainable in accordance with what we have to offer.  Unlike any time in the past, we are now facing an upcoming tsunami of elderly people in this country who are going to use up a lot of resources like we've never experienced before.  Allowing open borders sets us up to going right back to having the elites and lower and poverty classes just when we are finally building back up the middle class.  

We are not able to care for people in our own communities adequately.  It makes no sense, then, to ensure their lives cannot improve because we over-extend our resources and capabilities.  Generosity has a limit before things deteriorate for everyone.  This isn't about closing the borders to people in need.  This is about opening doors to people already here who are in need and then, when possible, helping others in need directly in their own countries so they can strengthen and improve themselves.

Copyright © January 2019 by Maeke Ermarth

               Cheyenne, WY

Faith and Belief

I am a big supporter of bible studies.  I also am a big supporter of people “visiting” other religions’ studies (if appropriate) and activities.  Like most things in life, where there are differences, the actual truth likely lies somewhere in-between the mix.  I had a “God” experience around 5 years of age, before really knowing very much ABOUT God and beliefs – just enough to know that I believed in the same God in whom several religions believe and that He proved himself to be the most important being/parent/guide.  Therefore, I have speculated a lot about the validity of many things that people claim to be “right.”  After all, not having been in history myself to make real-life observations, I can only rely on mankind’s accounts but owe it to myself to sit closer to God so He can tell me if it’s truth, just a story with a lesson, or blatant propaganda.

Sometimes Christian readings and interpretations differ anywhere from a little to quite a bit.  Hence the huge number of Christian denominations.  Many other religions also have groups with differences within them.  And that’s fine – gives us more food for thought as to which group’s “ways” are most comfortable to us.  It is the wiser person who steps out and learns to some extent other beliefs and perceptions because therein are likely to be answers to stirrings within ourselves, and it keeps us from “buying” into everything we are hearing or being told.

I’ve learned enough bits and pieces about pagan religions to know not all is “evil” but that rather quite a bit of pagan beliefs play a part in Christianity and other religions.  Since attending the Bibles and Beer bible studies with local folks from Christian and Catholic churches, the Synagogue, and the Muslim temple and an assortment of others, it is even more clear and verifiable that, throughout the ages, religious-based teachings have had an agenda attached (imagine that!).  Looking at the whole picture makes us feel we are somehow getting closer to the truth or, at the very least, discerning what is and what is not important in “God’s eyes.”

What baffles and, quite frankly, disappoints me are the religious leaders in today’s world, with all the wealth of now easily accessible information, who are not sharing this knowledge with their congregations.  Surely they are fearful of losing members to another church or having members just totally fall away from believing in God (thus losing control and power), but I do not feel that should be their concern.   For me, the transparency of various speculations and interpretations strengthens my faith because I believe God wants us to keep searching and learning.  And I highly respect the people and groups that are strong enough in their faith to examine and consider possibilities without altering their allegiance to God. 

Because of the different exposures and groups’ support over the years, I am willing to share things like my belief that Peter did not deny Jesus but rather was following Jesus’ instructions to deny him.  I am surrounded by people who allow me to explore my suspicions while helping to keep me focused and sort through what it is I am finding that causes me to think a certain way.  And then, together, we search for documentation that supports and negates the thought so that we all have more clarity about the question at hand.  How wonderful is that? 

If it were not for listening to a Rabbi and to a biblical historian speak about the laws of the time of the crucifixion era, I would not have considered the possibility that Jesus never did go before the king … nor go through the torment Christians believe he did.  If it were not for some Catholics coming forward saying Mary Magdalene was portrayed as a prostitute so that more “glory” would be bestowed upon Mother Mary, I would not have been as open to the likelihood that Mary Magdalene was actually what would be in today’s world a middle-class or wealthy woman who supported Jesus' ministry.

I have become so disappointed with the way issues are addressed by people extracting versus out of context to support their causes.  Despite my own belief about what constitutes the beginning of life, time and again I shudder when I hear religious leaders give the arguments pro life, as they define “life,” without also considering the passages in the Old Testament that clearly define life as beginning with actual, independent breathing.  I am not saying either side is right or wrong “in God’s eyes.”  What I do believe is that WE do not know for sure but can be mighty quick to claim that we know God’s mind and His intentions when, if we look closely, we really do not always know.

Possibly some of my feelings are enhanced from having read husband’s grandfather’s (who was a preaching, Lutheran theologian) opinion that religious leaders should continue to 'stay in the classroom' in the sense that, once ordained, the leader still does not know everything and, as a believer and leader, should feel obligated even more so to continue learning and searching.  The leader is there to educate AND keep followers excited about learning more about God in a safe manner.  And those leaders should also, then, be students of wiser leaders who can educate them further while also leading them to more knowledge in a safe manner.  In essence, it is an everlasting pursuit of an enhanced relationship with God.  Along those lines, then, I can appreciate one of the aspects of praying the Dalai Lama addresses.  In being wistful, we skew reality and lessen our own responsibilities (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OJ_XlPeuiU). 

We are taught we should not make deals with God.  But through studying, we learn that Moses did, and so did Abraham.  Many people take the Bible as totally true; many see it as a group of stories (fairy tales?) whose meanings are lessons in life for us to absorb.

For me, one of the two greatest verses is 1 Corinthians 13:13 where Paul declares, “And now abideth faith, hope, charity [love], these three; but the greatest of these is charity [love].”  I take that to mean that God would prefer that I be loving rather than be faithful because that is what is most important.  In love there are good intentions, and I believe even the non-believer who truly loves inwardly and outwardly will be rewarded with a heavenly life eternal.  The second verse (it provides the greatest comfort possible to me) is God’s promise in Hebrews 13:5 -  “… I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.”  The first verses within that 13^th chapter of Hebrews clearly instructs us about the extent of our what our love should be.

My wish is for mankind worldwide to be interested in learning about different views and possibilities combined with also discerning what has already been proven as undeniable fact.  And for each person to find what group they feel more in synch with to enhance the feeling of belonging but also to get the support to continue learning and deepening one's own faith and strengthening his/her relationship with God.  If love (charity) is at the center of all religions, ill intentions will not exist; and respect, kindness, and good will should become our character traits.

Copyright © December 2018 by Maeke Ermarth
                        Cheyenne, WY

Two Sides of Gossiping

Gossip runs rampant everywhere, despite hearing that we should not do it .  The best I can do is to try to keep it in perspective.  Sometimes gossip is a good thing.  I've no doubt been kept from being a victim of people with sinister intentions because of the gossip I would hear about them.  Conversely, sometimes a negative impression I have about someone changes to me having a better opinion of him/her based on comments other people have made that allow me to see the person in a different light.  And numerous times when trying to get a gift for someone, it has been revealed through gossip what types of things a person likes and appreciates.  Very helpful!

On my side, if I have something to contribute to a conversation about someone, I try (albeit not always successfully) to remember to question my own intention for doing so because I am the one who will have to live with the consequences of my words.  Secondly, I need to ask myself if I am stating facts or am I just "spinning" unfounded speculation?  Especially during the holiday season, when so many emotions tend to surface and anxieties increase, it is worthwhile to take a few minutes to justly filter what we hear and say before we digest it.  And then continue that practice throughout the year.  Happy holidays!

Copyright © November 2017 by Maeke Ermarth

               Ocean City, MD

A Time and Place

On sports fields, team members, while paying respect to the flag, are simultaneously paying respect to their team mates and fans and making the statement that, despite differences, no one nor thing is going to divide their team. They stand “united.” EVERYONE at the event respecting the flag and national anthem are standing “united” in, at the very least, being grateful for a time and place for such activities to take place with the freedoms granted the players for which team they play on and the freedom fans have in cheering for their team of choice.

We've gotten so caught up over "rights" over the years that, in a way, we're getting what we've been asking for. After all, can you really blame a generation (or more) of people who have grown up being taught they have the right to do pretty much whatever they want, whenever they want? Instead of denying oneself the enjoyment of the games, energy should be put toward teaching people that acting offensively (albeit legally) in an inappropriate place for a message they are trying to send about their personal beliefs is not acceptable. At this time, I would welcome an apology from the kneeling players who can understand that they can express their political and personal preferences at other venues. For those players who remain unapologetic – well, I feel they are not really “united” with their teams and therefore should not be allowed to remain on them.

Sports have been the saving grace for many people, even since childhood -- including my own daughter. So I want sports to continue to be supported, but what should not be tolerated are the activities like we have witnessed lately that cause discourse on the fields. In such a setting, certain standards need to be exercised and revered, without exception.

Removing History

A group obtains a legal permit to protest. Okay -- that has gone on for as long as I can remember. By being granted a permit allows a group to carve out an area to exercise the right(s) it is granted via the permit. This country allows for freedom of speech, rights to personal opinions, and the right to demonstrate/protest. Many states allow residents to "carry" a variety of weapons -- some of which need to be registered, some of which require background checks of the purchaser. The KKK and a variety of other "not popular" groups have obtained permits for parades, protests, and events. Some have taken place without incident, others have not. "Popular" groups have the same rights. Personally, I see that as a beautiful thing.

What is NOT a beautiful thing is when the law is broken. The USA has laws against violence, destruction of property, obstruction of rights, arson, manslaughter, and the list goes on and on. ANYONE who breaks the law needs to be willing to accept the consequences of doing so. If the people of Charlottesville, VA, objected to the white nationalists being allowed to protest, then the group should have never been granted the permit to do so. However, for decades they have obtained permits across this nation for various events. The outrage this time is, in large part, because Trump is in office; and his NY style of delivering messages is not very eloquent. So the whole thing has turned into a soap opera because comments bounce off another, and another, and another.

We need to look at facts and reality. One person goes WAY off the edge (and hopefully that person will be prosecuted to the highest extent, along with subsequently everyone else who broke the law on ALL sides of the fence), and a mini-war breaks out. The flames are fanned with the media as well as a lot of people holding onto old vendettas. Removal of Lee's statue was already decided. Fine. The white nationalists obtained a permit to protest. Fine. Anti-protesters showed up to signify their disgust. Fine. Violence erupted. Criminal. A killing and lots of injuries ensued. Not acceptable. Time to disperse the crowds, sort through who did what to whom, and let every criminal act be judged and the perpetrators sentenced.

As for the racial and history arguments? Are we so pathetically naive as to not value history and recognize that it certainly has a part to play? And are we so insensitive that we cannot come to some agreement on how to make our public places less offensive while at the same time not pretending the past never happened, despite the artifacts being proof it did? There are places that accommodate artifacts, and there are documentaries that bring understanding of how and why various events in the past took place.

Now there is talk of removing monuments to fallen Confederate soldiers. Does it not occur to people that some of their families, as a result of their personal loss of a loved one, came to have an altered perspective of life and what it means to be an American? Many southerners and some northerners, as a result of the Civil War, settled our western states with changed attitudes and ideas of how to be a better united country. We have become such a throw-away society that some of us are now even ready to throw away our deceased for, in my opinion, no valid reason. Just remember -- we all die. Does any of us just want to be tossed aside as though we never existed?
We in America need to get a grip and look at what we are doing. We need to cherish the freedoms we have, recognize that some groups are more "out there" than others, respect everyone's rights, and be accepting of who is acting within the limits of the law and be willing to prosecute those who are not.

Transgenders in The Military

My Recent E-Mail to Our Federal Represenatives

Dear Senators and Congressmen:

   Please consider my thoughts/beliefs when focusing and voting on allowing transgendered people into the military.  Transgendering is full of hormonal changes, mental therapies, and high costs (in more ways than just monetary).  It is a choice versus a need and is an exaggerated plastic surgery process that entails way more than "common" plastic surgery.  

   Therefore, I suggest allowing transgenders to enlist only after all of their procedures have been successfully completed for five years, and the person enlisting is medically certified as stable both mentally and physically.  The suicide rate for transgenders is not something to be overlooked.  Nor is the amount of therapy some continue to go through because they have a chronic problem adjusting.

   Medical insurance for military personnel should not cover the costs involved in transgendering.  If a person takes on the cost to transgender and has been transitioned successfully for at least five years and still falls into the age limit to enlist, then, yes ... the military should consider that person for service, but not for combat duty.  Never have all troops been assigned combat duty.  There are plenty of positions a stable, transgendered person could hold.

Thank you all for representing us with wisdom, options, and foresight.  ~  Maeke (Mika) Ermarth

Exiting with Naxolone

There are at least two sides to a topic or issue, including whether or not to provide inmates being released from prison with Naxolone.  I understand policy makers being wary of doing something that, on the surface, appears to be a “pass” for addicts to return to their addictions.  But after reviewing and witnessing stories and results of various perceptions, tactics, and programs surrounding addiction recovery, I believe providing inmates with Naxolone upon release is worth a five-year trial. 

Imagining myself being an inmate about to be released, I am sufficiently detoxed.  I have attended AA, NA, and/or Al-Anon meetings (or similar programs) while incarcerated.  Upon release, unless court ordered to go to a halfway house for recovering addicts, I will return to where I came from prior to incarceration.  Chances are high that I will associate with the same people as I did prior to serving time. 

If I am released without Naxolone, my chance of relapsing is high.  Despite today’s numbers of overdoses, my concern about relapsing is minimal because to addicts the prospect of death caused by using is a likely fact.  Some, if not most, of my social network will be involved in risky behaviors, and they will not discourage my return to my old ways.

If I am released with Naxolone, I am leaving with a container of hope.  My accepting it indicates I have a preference for life – either my own or someone else’s.  Obviously, if I overdose, I cannot administer the product to myself; but I will hope someone else will know how to administer it to me.  I might even go so far as to teach a few people close to me how to do that.  Or, I might be in the presence of someone else who overdoses and needs to be revived – an experience I’ve no doubt would have a lasting, profound effect on me and bring to ultimate clarity how essential it is to never take addictive drugs again.

Why society continues to keep the “needy” in need after witnessing the devastating effects doing so has on society in general, not to mention the loss of hope it can extract from those in need, is beyond my comprehension.  Until the policy makers themselves experience addiction and the effects of incarceration themselves, they will never appreciate the stigma, exclusions, and barriers addicts encounter.  We keep throwing away money on reactions to addiction that have been practiced for generations.  It would make sense to spend money on something different that may very well prove successful in the long term.

The public is kidding itself if it believes releasing incarcerated addicts with Naxolone would give the addict a reason to resume his/her addiction in the outside world.  The reality is that if the addict is going to use, he/she will do so regardless of whether or not Naxolone is available.  The signal an addict will receive if released with Naxolone is that the outside world does care about him/her and wants the inmate to remain alive, with hopes of choosing to live drug free.  So many addicts in recovery have shown their desire to “give back” and help others go through the process of a successful recovery.  That, in and of itself, is impetus for the rest of us to help that movement continue.

I ask that residents pressure their representatives to reconsider their latest vote, and do the right thing by giving “release with Naxolone” a five-year opportunity.  With the epidemic we currently face, we have absolutely nothing to lose; but we sure do have something priceless to gain.

Copyright © July 2017 by Maeke Ermarth

                    Cheyenne, WY

Why Did Peter Deny Jesus?

Thank God for bible study groups.  They are a place to examine, learn, and explore stories and subjects that are much more complicated than how they initially appear.  Hearing the thoughts and beliefs of other participants, I continually expand my own understanding of both content and intentions embedded within the pages of the bible.

After considering many points of views, questions, and contemplations, I sometimes experience revelations.  And, I continue to ascertain a clearer understanding as a result of acquiring more knowledge and insight.  It is a healthy, perpetual experience that enhances my spirituality. 

I had a revelation just this past week that really excited me.  In a six-week study group met, we focused on some chapters in the Book of John as relevant reading for Lent.  [The incidents in this article are in John, Chapters 13-21.]We recalled that prior to his crucifixion, Jesus tells Simon Peter (who I will refer to as simply “Peter”) that Peter will deny him three times before the cock crows.  Soon thereafter while in a garden with the disciples, a detachment of troops and officers from the chief priests and Pharisees came looking for Jesus.  In defense of him, Peter cut off the ear of a high priest’s servant; but Jesus told Peter he should not have done it.  Peter no more does anything but observe and remain detached.  He ends up denying he even knows or follows Jesus – three times, and then the rooster crows.  We know that after Jesus is crucified, Peter is very sad and remorseful.

In time, Peter resumes being a fisherman.  One day, Peter and other disciples are fishing; and in the distance they see a man standing on the shore.  Once he realizes the man is Jesus, Peter rushes to the shore to greet him.  Jesus questions Peter about his love for him to ascertain that Peter truly loves him more than anyone and anything else.  Peter is able to convince Jesus that indeed, he does.  Jesus then bestows on Peter the task of taking on his responsibilities – to me, the highest honor anointed any believer.

The reaction and perception we usually witness is disappointment, even disdain, that Peter denied Jesus.  It is commonly thought he basically turned his back on Jesus … abandoned him.  It is also believed that upon being reunited with Jesus, Peter receives forgiveness and grace from him. 

For many years, I have not believed Peter denied Jesus in the way so widely accepted.  I felt that Peter loved Jesus so much and was so pained himself knowing and seeing the torture Jesus was going through that he felt compelled to defend Jesus and began his defense by cutting off the servant’s ear.  After Jesus chastised Peter for his action, Peter likely felt that admitting to being a follower of Jesus, when asked, might possibly make things even worse.  Better to just remain present but silent.  So when three times in various places Peter was asked if he knew or was a follower of Jesus, he replied, “No.”  My belief is that Peter was actually following, without understanding at the time, Jesus’s insistence that Peter deny him and not help him.  I further believe that Peter was not remorseful for having denied Jesus but that he felt anguish for doing something against what his heart was telling him to do in order to do, through Jesus’s instructions, God’s will.

I stated my perception of these interactions between Jesus and Peter to the study group.  At the next week’s meeting, we spent time focusing on Peter rushing to the shore when he recognized it was truly Jesus standing there.  After voicing that I do not have the impression that Jesus was forgiving Peter for denying him and reiterating earlier my train of thought about the denials, the group leader pointed out that Peter most likely really had no power of making things either better or worse for Jesus’s journey to his crucifixion.  Good point.  There was something, then, I was missing.

I still felt Peter was simply carrying out Jesus’s instructions, and therefore no forgiveness was necessary.  Otherwise, Peter would have been very afraid to stand before Jesus; but, no – upon knowing the man was Jesus, Peter plunged into the sea and hurried to be with him again.  It seems obvious to me that Jesus and Peter very much loved and trusted each other.  While driving home, I was pondering all this when it hit me:  God’s plan is always being played out, even when we cannot recognize or make sense of it.  It was Peter who was being protected by denying Jesus.  Why?  Because Peter was already chosen by God to be the church’s fully-human foundation.  Had Peter admitted to being a disciple, he could have been in grave danger and perhaps even killed, given the circumstances and mood of the crowd. 

That was my missing puzzle.  Through the sharing of thoughts and beliefs at the bible study, one of the participants made the comment that was the link for which I had been searching.  Peter loved and had so much faith in Jesus and God that he was willing to go against his own will to do the denying of which Jesus foretold.  When Jesus told Peter he should not have cut off the servant’s ear, Peter’s belief allowed him to stand back without questioning and just let things play out without any further involvement on his part.  Peter later went off, feeling horrible as well as confused but still knew Jesus loved him.

Imagine the joy and excitement, then, Peter felt when he saw Jesus on the shore.  Of course he went to him straight away.  There was no reason to be afraid or ashamed – he did what Jesus asked of him, and the reward was to see and be with Jesus again!  Only Peter stopped the fishing and left the boat to reunite with Jesus.  So when Jesus asked Peter if he loved him “more than these,” I take that to mean that Jesus is seeking confirmation from Peter that he will give up all earthly things, including his source of income, to carry on any commands from God.  Jesus gave him three opportunities to shun that acceptance, but Peter was steadfast and dependable.

To be honest, I was not there during these events.  None of us were.  All we have are the bible stories that exist for everyone’s interpretations … not just believers.  My insights are based on the personal relationship I have with God and my views about His characteristics.  I believe that because Peter was pre-ordained to take over many of Jesus’s responsibilities, God orchestrated the path Peter needed to follow to remain safe and ultimately able to accept and take on the role God intended for him.  Part of that path meant Peter had to deceive some people in order to do God’s will.  What a testament Peter remains to this day of unconditional and unquestioning belief, love, and faith.  “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”  Thus sayeth the Lord [Hebrews 13:5].

Copyright © April 2017 by Maeke Ermarth

               Ocean City, Maryland

Divine Feminine - The Significance

Who or what is divine?  Who or what is feminine?  Answers differ depending on who is being asked.  Clear that from my mind.  Focus on me.  What do the words “divine” and “feminine” bring to my mind and, particularly, what does my mind evince when the words are placed together – divine feminine?

Divine, to me, conjures up being godlike, miraculous or, at the very least, extraordinarily different yet benevolent.  Feminine is to be anatomically female or possessing the characteristics – positive or negative -- society has identified as being female.  People worldwide easily recognize Mother Mary, Mother Theresa and Florence Nightingale as valued examples of divine and feminine.

 

Historically, St. Paul the apostle told a congregation that all believers are saints, and he made no reference to gender.  I will not argue his statement.  In fact, I will go even beyond “believers” and say that I believe the divine and feminine exist within every woman.  To release them, she needs only to recognize them and follow their paths.

    

One amazing feat that separates the boys from the girls is the females’ unique ability to incubate, nourish, and produce life.  Beyond the physical ability to do so, women in general possess this ability metaphorically as well.  They incubate and nourish the seeds within all of us and help bring forth our inner selves that otherwise might forever remain dormant.  Such was the case in my childhood with our maid in Florida, Freddie Mae, during the era when segregation still existed but was on the proper path to its decline.

Freddie Mae was the first divine feminine I endeared, and she will forever feel like my lifeline to the world.  I never knew her last name, but the name is insignificant; it is her soul and influence that were --and are to this day.  When Freddie Mae was present, so was Respect, Wisdom and Calm.  While working quietly and innocuously in the background, she had total command and control of the household; and yet, she was able to give us the illusion that we did.  Oh, the grace of her courtesy toward and her insight into all the dynamics surrounding her were treasured gifts!  Being the youngest of three girls, I had the privilege of spending much of her working day in her presence where I experienced the greatest classroom of all time.  Just being near her made me feel safe, proud of myself, and hungry for the qualities and smarts she possessed.

“Never apologize for nor feel guilty or ashamed of whom you are” was the mantra she insisted I seer into my heart and soul.  She also instructed me not to be pompous because everyone, in some fashion, is rich and worthy.  Just as importantly, she always took time to listen to me and allowed herself to be approachable with anything in or on my heart.  When elated, she shared my joy and happiness.  When puzzled, she shared my confusion.  When hurt, she felt my pain.  Between her nurturing my belief in God due to a childhood encounter with Him -- that my own mother excused as me seeing shadows from trees outside, but Freddie Mae never doubted or questioned my life-altering experience – and her arms always open to receive me so long as I was sincere and without malice, I still believe to this day she was an angel placed before me as a figure to emulate since I was/am female and she, most assuredly, was divine.

                           

Throughout my life I have been blessed with the acquaintances and friendships of many “sisters” who were and are also divine feminine.  I have had many callings in my life that I believe are divine, and I know without a doubt that being feminine has produced good results when I attempt to answer the calls.  My biological father used to tells us girls, “If you want to be successful in life:  Act like a woman, but think like a man.”  When I think back on the more prominent female influences in my life, those ladies most assuredly fit my father’s definition of a successful woman.

Divinity cuts both ways.  Femininity not so much.  I believe each gender has a tad of the other in terms of mind and spirit; however, I also believe that the masculine and feminine will forever remain distinctly autonomous yet powerful.  Therein explains why I have extracted long-held feelings and thoughts from people who would not have been so forthcoming with a “brother.”  It also explains why I take some of my concerns to “sisters” who I know can carry a torch and obtain positive results.  Many qualities are unique to the divine and the feminine.  It behooves me to recognize and honor them.  We who are feminine need to embrace the qualities of the feminine and the divine so we, too, can respectfully bring forth and share the abilities that exist within each of us.  Just as fate in a proverb whispers to a lady warrior, “You cannot withstand the storm,” the lady warrior whispers back, “I am the storm.”

How is honor to be expressed to the divine feminine in our lives and to those who came before we were even a thought?  For myself, I have a pattern of adopting qualities of the divine feminine that should never die that I feel capable of incorporating into my own being.  Sometimes I am daring and will take in qualities about which I am uncertain I can model well.  If successful – I keep them.  If not, I let them go and hope someone less inept will take them and carry them forward.

With that, I will end this piece, go stand before a mirror and ask myself, “Am I divine feminine?”  If not, I have a lot of homework to do.  If I am, I have a lot of homework to continue.

Copyright © March 2017 by Maeke Ermarth 

                Ocean City, Maryland